Frink is a calculator/programming language that keeps track of units. It also has a huge library of custom defined units to cover common calculations. For instance, the unit “water” stands for the density of water.
Here’s one of the example calculations from the documentation:
I received one of those endlessly-forwarded e-mails of dubious but “interesting facts” which said “if you fart continuously for 6 years and 9 months, you’ll have enough gas to create the equivalent of an atomic bomb.” Hee hee. Cute. (Thanks to Heather May Howard… being unable to easily calculate the veracity of this statement was one of the primary influences that showed how existing programs were too limited and inspired the creation of Frink.) But I didn’t believe it and wanted to check it. The Hiroshima bomb had a yield of 12.5 kilotons of TNT, which is a very small bomb by today’s standards. How many horsepower would that be?
12.5 kilotons TNT / (6 years + 9 months) -> horsepower
Can you produce a 329-horsepower blowtorch of a fart? I doubt it. That’s the power produced by a Corvette engine running just at its melting point. A one-second fart with that much power could blow me 1000 feet straight up. To produce that kind of energy, how much food would you have to eat a day?
12.5 kilotons TNT / (6 years + 9 months) -> Calories/day
Ummm… can you eat over 5 million Calories a day? (Again, note that these are food Calories with a capital ‘c’ which are equal to 1000 calories with a small ‘c’.) If you were a perfect fart factory, converting food energy into farts with 100% efficiency, and ate a normal 2000 Calories/day, how many years would it really take?
12.5 kilotons TNT / (2000 Calories/day) -> years
17,000 years is still a huge underestimate; I don’t know how much of your energy actually goes into fart production. Oh well. To continue the calculations, let’s guess your butthole has a diameter of 1 inch (no, you go measure it.) Let’s also guess that the gas you actually produce in a fart is only 1/10 as combustible as pure natural gas. What would be the velocity of the gas coming out?
12.5 kilotons TNT / natural_gas / (6 years + 9 months) / (pi (.5 in)^2) 10 -> mph
Nobody likes sitting next to a 280-mile-per-hour fart-machine. Lesson: Even the smallest atomic bombs are really unbelievably powerful and whoever originally calculated this isn’t any fun to be around if they really fart that much.
Fart jokes. Sheesh. If Frink isn’t a huge success, it’s not because I didn’t pander to the Lowest Common Denominator.
Frink is the 280-mile-per-hour fart-machine of calculators.
Frink makes it easy to think precisely.