Archive for the ‘Laugh Dammit!’ Category

Why Obama Must Bow Down To His Nork Master

Thursday, April 4th, 2013

With advanced military gear like this at Kim Jong Un’s disposal, the United States cannot hope to prevail against such a mighty nation and its beloved leader, a world class master of Looking At Things.

One can barely imagine the awesome features of this god-like control console, mercifully hidden from we proletariat mud people, since only a Great Leader and his Generals, buoyed by the love of his people, can gaze upon it without permanent scarring.

We, too, might posess such glorious weapons of justice if only those evil traitorous Republicans hadn’t forced the sequestor.

We must be cautious and respectful, lest the righteous wrath of the Korean People stir them to angry singing of their noble war chant.


I’m actually a little disturbed by this. If the Glorious Leader in either nation had a lick of sanity, there’d be no real threat. But I don’t trust either of them to keep from launching nuclear war in fits of egotistical pique.

Two Liberal Lists: Lies and Racists

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Glenn Reynolds starts many posts by saying, “They told me if I voted for Romney….”

Of course Romney lost despite Insty’s support, and all those things are happening anyway, and more, and worse.

But what else did “they”, those liberal prog Democrats, tell us?

Doug Ross has a list, and it’s pretty damn ugly:

They told me that allowing law-abiding citizens to carry concealed weapons would turn our streets into rivers of blood.

They told me that taking trillions of dollars from the successful and giving it to those “who truly needed it” would cure poverty.

They told me that giving home loans to those who couldn’t afford them would make the American dream achievable for all.

They told me that paying into the Social Security “Trust Fund” would guarantee a comfortable retirement for everyone.

They told me that allowing teachers to unionize in public schools would help inner city students reach for the stars.

They told me that the federal government could run a guaranteed, affordable health care program for seniors forever.

They told me that the new employment paradigm consisted of millions of “green jobs”.

They told me that their support for immoral and criminal behavior wouldn’t result in the breakdown of the two-parent family.

Of course, that’s not all. You should read the rest.

But his conclusion needs to be cast far and wide:

Everything they told me was a lie.

Everything they told me was wrong.

Intentionally, diabolically, criminally wrong.

And if we don’t begin to turn back the tide of centralized government, if we don’t politically obliterate the Democrat Party, this beautiful Republic, this magnificent country, this bastion of free enterprise and private property rights, this shining city on a hill… well, it will be finished.

Nice little blog you got there, Doug. Too bad if something happened to it, like the dreaded…RICKETY-LANCHE!

BWA-hahaha!

Seriously, the one or two of you out there, go give Ross the attention he deserves.


Then Brad Torgerson, consie SF writer, got into a fight with a liberal, Marguerite Reed, and some other liberals, few as smart or even polite as Reed was.

Still, this was pretty much no more than a fairly well mannered food fight, with tea and finger sandwiches. Eventually, though, the fuss attracted the attention of Larry Correia, he of Monster Hunter International fame, who stepped through the french doors, now transformed into swinging salooners.

And it was on. A good rollicking fight ensued. Noses bloodied, chairs smashed, tables toppled–Torgerson knows how to take care of himself, mind, but Larry just wants to get the job done, with as much fun as can be wrung out of such limp-brained prey.

And then, oh best beloved, and then, Larry called for orbital support, you know, just to be sure, and Tom Kratman laid down this carpet bombing.

He’s given his permission for wide dissemination. Well, I can’t help him with that, of course, but at least I’ll be able to find it again when I need it.

The Left’s 20 Rules of Racism

1. If you believe that general intelligence exists, is heritable and at all testable for, you’re a racist.

2. If you point out that liberal philosophies and programs intended to have a good impact have had a disproportionately bad impact on the ethnicities targeted by liberals, you’re a racist.

3. If you notice that other cultures have some problems, you’re a racist.

4. If you notice your own culture has had some successes, you’re a racist.

5. If you try to identify subcultural problems, you’re a racist. If the problems existed or got worse under liberalism, see item 2, above.

6. If you’re mainstream American culture, and don’t hate that culture, you’re a racist.

7. If you’re capable of noting unpleasant facts about subcultures and discussing them without your brain fogging, you’re a racist.

8. If you won’t kowtow and grovel as soon as someone accuses you of racism for one of the reasons above or below, you’re a hopeless racist.

9. If you do not believe that mankind is a tabula rasa for liberals to make whatever they think would be good to make of man, this week, you’re a racist.

10. If you don’t take personal responsibility for all the evils of slavery, you’re a racist. This is true even if you only arrived from Poland last week.

11. If you’re white, you’re a racist.

12. If you’re white and just arrived from Poland last week and don’t accept that you’re a racist, you’re a racist.

13. If you try to interject logical thought into a discussion of culture, you’re a racist.

14. If you refuse to admit culture is a racial matter, and a liberal wants to conflate the two, you’re a racist.

15. If you believe that race and culture are indistinguishable and a liberal decides that you shouldn’t conflate the two, you’re a racist.

16. If you believe that black or Hispanic girls who are paid by liberal inspired programs from the age of 13 to have babies will have babies, you’re a racist.

17. If you believe that _any_ girls of whatever color who are paid to have babies will then have babies but then, insensitively, observe that a smaller percentage of white girls do, certainly because they haven’t been targeted for as much “help” from liberals, you’re a racist.

18. If it doesn’t bother you that the truth offends liberals, you’re a racist.

19. If your name is Tom Kratman and you write and in your writing your heroes and heroines tend to be from minorities while your villains are white liberals, you’re still a racist.

20. If you read The Bell Curve, you’re a racist. On the other hand, if you didn’t read it but wrote a scathing review on Amazon anyway you might not be a racist provided you take personal responsibility for 300 years of slavery even if you just arrived from Poland last week.

The Right’s Twenty Rules of Racism

1. Anyone responsible for three hundred years of slavery would have to be a lot older than you and me.

2. There has to be some genetics in “racism’s” DNA, some DNA in its gene pool, or it just isn’t racism.

3. Racism could be eliminated in the United States if we could just eliminate the white liberals who so plainly depend on it so much and do so much to keep it going.

4. Reality isn’t racist: The reality is that there are pond-scummy gallows bait in every group. Some of those will be more of a problem to their own group than to you (see Rule 14, below). Some will be more of a problem to you precisely because you’re not a member of their group. It is wise, not racist, to avoid the latter. In Boston, this may be referred to as the “Evelyn Wagler-George Pratt Rule,” and that’s not code. Odd exception to half of Rule 4: Jesse Jackson would much rather be followed by a white on the streets of DC, at night, than a black.

5. There have been two instances in recent history where the concept of “honorary white” held sway. One was in apartheid South Africa where, for example, Japanese were considered “honorary white.” The other was when, in relation to the Trayvon Martin shooting, the American mainstream media made Hispanic George Zimmerman an “honorary white.” This is not entirely coincidence since (see Rule 18) the very liberal American media is as racist in their way as ever the Afrikaner Broederbond was in its.

6. Nobody really thinks whites are as evil as portrayed by white liberals and black demagogues. If they really thought so, they’d be too afraid to ever leave the house, since a) there are a lot more whites, b) those whites are much better armed, c) they’re more likely to be veterans of the Army’s and Marine Corps’ ground gaining combat arms, and d) they have an historically demonstrated cultural aptitude for mass, organized violence.

7. People who insist you’re speaking in code insist on it because they believe it’s true. They believe it’s true because they really do speak in code and can’t imagine anyone who does not speak in code. It’s not racist to think those people are idiots, nor to note that they’re mostly white. (Exception to rule: When conservatives talk about guns and zombies? Especially in terms of using the former to kill the latter? Yeah; “zombie” is code for “liberals of any color.” See Rule 6, above.)

8. It’s not racist to note that white liberalism managed to do in about thirty years something that three hundred years of slavery could not, seriously damage the black family, generally though not universally, and ruin it completely over wide swaths.

9. Speaking of slavery, the bulk of slave raiding and trading in Africa was black, usually Islamic black (see Rule 16, below), on black. The Arabic word for black and slave is the same, “Abd.” And the first registered slave owner in Virginia was black. Pointing this out to liberals, white and black, is always fun.

10. It’s not racist to wish that our first black president had been Thomas Sowell.

11. The “Some of my best friends” defense against a charge of racism is no defense…unless it happens to be true. Sometimes it’s best expressed to a white liberal as, “You don’t have so much as a day in uniform, do you, dipshit?”

12. The system of education that white liberals have inflicted on inner city blacks is a crime against humanity. No amount of money that they toss at it helps to overcome the elimination of discipline liberalism has caused. It’s neither racist to note this…nor wrong.

13. The various college and university minority “studies” programs, because they give a useless pseudo-education, and at very high cost in both money and time, are racist in their effects.

14. Most black crime is black on black crime. It is racist in its effects to deprive the black community of the social good that comes from executing black criminals that prey on other blacks.

15. It takes a white liberal idiot (Lord, forgive us our redundancies) not to understand the difference between casual sex with a member of another race and marrying and investing one’s entire reproductive effort in a member of another race. See, e.g., http://www.tomkratman.com/yoli.html. Dipshits.

16. Islam is not a race. Detesting Islam is not racist. There is nothing in Islam which genetically compels either slightly tanned Palestinians or totally white English reverts to pray toward Mecca five times daily, to self-detonate in crowded squares and movie theaters, to find offense in just about everything, nor even to clitorectomize their women. Flash alert: Lysenko was wrong. Dipshits.

17. When a liberal accuses you of racism, rejoice; it means the dipshit knows he or she is losing.

18. The worst racists are liberals, mostly white ones, who assume that blacks and hispanics are so inferior that only affirmative action in perpetuity would give them a remotely fair chance. (That this also keeps a lot of liberal white social workers and bureaucrats employed is, of course, merely incidental. Ahem. Dipshits.)

19. There was a conservative argument for a kind of affirmative action. Unfortunately, all the money’s already been spent on employing white liberal social workers and bureaucrats, and we’re broke now, so that ship has sailed. Again, blame dipshit white liberals.

20. Screaming “Racism! Raaaacissssm!” on the part of a white liberal, when the matter in question has no DNA in its gene pool, no genetics in its DNA (see Rule 2, above), is the surest proof that said white liberal is genetically defective. And a dipshit. And it’s not racist to point this out.

Thats what he opened with, and all that was left was cleanup, until Reed shut the place down.

Go. Read the whole thing, it’s a lovely little riot, with tasty hot dogs and marshmallows roasting on spits over the still screaming bodies.

[update: fix a few linkage and copy-pasta errors, and some misteaken typing.]

Wirecutters

Saturday, June 30th, 2012

If I were condemned to live in New York City, I’d carry a pair of wire cutters with me wherever I went.
Mayor Bloomberg evades his own law against idling your car to keep the airconditioner running.

Onward, Through the Fog

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

From everyone’s favorite weasel:

Reagan Days

Friday, April 22nd, 2011

via Firehand.

I Can See Clearly Now

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011

[via SondraK]

Way back in the days when I thought the Republican party was more evil than the Democrats, instead of just more stupid, the ‘Thuglicans had a convention here in Houston.

Abortion was on the agenda, at least as far as the Demons were concerned. I have no idea what the Thugs actually talked about.

There were mass protests at abortion women’s health clinics all over town.

I stood on the clinic side of the line, holding back those who wanted to block the entrances against women trying to enter.

In my mind, I was protesting government interference in women’s lives. I still feel that way, although it’s not my plan to argue the point in this post.

But now I am beginning to understand that pro-choice forces really are pro-abortion. They are anti-life. Not pro-women, but anti-male, too, if it comes to that. Liberty has nothing to do with it.

When the liberal/socialist blinders come off, the world changes. Remember the movie Pleasantville, which starts out in black and white, and then the citizens learn to see color? That’s what I’m living through right now, except it’s no fun at all, because so many of the colors that have been splashed around are so profoundly ugly. Maybe a better example is They Live, where the protagonist obtains a pair of sunglasses that allows him to see his leaders for the alien monsters they are.

These days, I wouldn’t stand on either side of the line. The whole conversation is corrupt and corrupting.

I am so disgusted, so screamingly angry, so ashamed.

Palin Shoots Down Barry Soetoro’s State of the Union Theme

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Alerted by, oh, just about everybody, I scanned through President Hussein’s State of the Union address, and found ten instances of the phrases “win the future” or “winning the future”. (The word “future” appears several more times in different contexts.)

Nice theme, O. Tons better than “Whip Inflation Now”.

And hey, none other than Sarah Palin agrees it’s a great slogan!

Or, anyway, as Palin says, great acronym. From American Blob:
Thank heavens the Obama Whitehouse is so new-media savvy, right?

Poke

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

From my favorite Weasel.

Poke:

Civil:

Best Nativity Play Story Ever

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

I have always know that Kenny Loggins was a force for evil. This Christmas Reminiscence proves it beyond question.

The year I learned that Christmas did not, in fact, originate as a celebration of my amazing ability to temporarily transform into a “good” child for a few weeks was the year my grandparents took me to see their church’s nativity play. My dad’s parents were heavily involved in their church and felt that, at six years old, it was time that I start appreciating the miracle of Jesus instead of using Christmas as an excuse to whore out my integrity for presents. Even though my parents weren’t religious, they let me go to the play because it was important to my grandparents.

From my grandparents’ flowery explanation and frequent use of the word “miracle,” I went in expecting to be blown away by the production. Unfortunately, the church moms and the pathetic excuses for actors that they called their offspring failed to bring the characters to life in the way I had hoped. And the story just seemed to center around everyone being really impressed with Jesus and there wasn’t much suspense and not a single battle scene.

I could see that the story had potential, but I was deeply disappointed by the whole experience.

By the time my grandparents dropped me off at home, I had convinced myself that I needed to take matters into my own hands and reinvent the birth of Christ so that it conformed to my expectations. My parents and I lived with my maternal grandmother and my aunt, so I would have more than enough talent to work with – all I had to do was create a compelling story line.

I walked through my front door with purpose and gathered my family members in the living room to tell them about my vision. I was going to rewrite the birth of Jesus Christ and I was going to make it POP.

…And she does, most certainly, but you will have to go to her place and read the whole thing to find out how.

Swear to Baby Jesus, this is better than A Christmas Story.

Quote of the Day: Bad Pun Division

Thursday, December 9th, 2010

Jewel of Tasty Infidelicacies re: starting birth contractions on December 7th:

Today may be the day that lives in infancy!