ricketyclick

Rea Irvin, New Yorker Magazine, 1929:

People slowly accustomed themselves to the idea that the physical states of space itself were the final physical reality.

– Herr Professor Einstein

The best humorist extant is now styled Sir Terry Pratchett.

Regrettably, no sword is included in the box.

And by “best humorist”, I mean right up there with Benchley, Thurber, Perelman, that lot.

If you have not read at least three of his Discworld novels, you cannot count yourself literate.

If the reason you have not read even one of the Discworld novels is because it’s fantasy, then you’re a hopelessly blinkered snob.
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OK, I’m easily amused:
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[Animated gif images behind spoiler tags in an attempt to get them to play from the start when you click the spoiler. Didn't work for me, so you may see the punch line before the setup. Sorry.]

I despair of explaining the situation here. Either you recognize the characters from Azumanga Dao, in which case you are laughing hysterically, or you don’t, in which case you are questioning my taste and sanity.

Outstanding bit of satire from Iowahawk:

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodeisel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again — with a vengeance.

We’ve subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you’ll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that’s a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Read the whole thing.

Pretty damn funny, huh? Filthy scumbag Rick Roberts at KFMB 760AM in San Diego thought so to. He liked it so much he just cut and pasted the whole thing onto his website without attribution.

You see, people who do cool stuff on the Internet aren’t real; they’re magic elves who generate stuff for real journalists and entertainers, and therefore do not deserve credit.

Filthy scumbag authorized journalists like Rick Roberts, on the other hand, deserve an on-air kick in the balls, followed by an on-air firing.

Oh, and Rick? Rick, you filthy thieving scumbag? If you ever get around to apologizing, say you’re sorry for being a filthy scumbag thief, OK? Don’t apologize for making a mistake in judgement, and don’t say you’re sorry Iowahawk let his feelings get hurt, when he should be proud he’s supplying material to a media god like yourself.

I note some of Scumbag Thief Rick’s commenters are thinking he actually got permission from Iowahawk.

No. He’s just a filthy scumbag thief, per Iowahawk himself.

By the way, Filthy Scumbag Rick put this up November 21, over a month ago. Still not corrected.

…Or else:

From Bill St. Claire, via Billy Beck.

One of my favorite webcomics, Girl Genius, is taking a holiday break with a Gaslamp Fantasy reworking of Cinderella.

Cinderella, played by our favorite Mad-Girl Spark Agatha Heterodyne, has repaired her Fairy Godmother’s Magic Wand using Mad Science, and used it to transform a pumpkin into a coach to take her to the Prince’s Science Fair, where she plans to enter a project she’s been keeping secret from her Stepmother and Stepsisters, who will be entering their own step-projects. *whew* I do not know of any other webcomic presenting anything like this level of art, three times a week, without fail.

Story’s kicking along just fine, too.

Bravo to Phil and Kaja Foglio and their team!

Below the fold, Agatha-ella’s version of the Pumpkin Coach, far and away the best I’ve ever seen.

I cannot wait to see what happens when Agatha-ella uses the wand on herself for her ball gown. Oh, wait. It’s a Science Fair, not a ball. Hm. Not much you can do with a white coat, eh?
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Best Motivational Poster Ever: (May take a few seconds to load completely; wait for it…)

Via Sephiroth on Napalm Luck, a discussion forum for a web comic.

John Waters, in the best, most subversive No Smoking theater trailer ever made:

Bless you, Youtube.

I love the little pop! as he finishes off his last drag.

I’ve been wanting to see this again since I first saw it in Houston’s River Oaks Theater, back when it was a repertoire house showing vintage foreign, indie, and flatly off-beat films in back to back two-day runs. They published a monthly schedule sheet which was like the syllabus for a course in Cool. Gods, I miss the old River Oaks. It’s where I first watched Seven Samurai and Casablanca and Citizen Kane, and where I last saw 2001: A Space Odyssey (I cannot tolerate 2001 on tiny TV screens). Killed, I think, by the home video market. Now its balcony has been converted to two tiny auditoriums, and it shows first run foreign and indie films, but no off-beat or vintage stuff.

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Aaugh! Googling around for a photo of the River Oaks, I’m reminded that it’s slated for demolition, to be replaced by a Barnes and Noble bookstore, which will also result in the closing of the nearby Bookstop, itself a renovation/conversion of the old Alabama theater. Damn it, damn it, damn it. I absolutely support the right of the owners to do whatever they want with their property, but I wish they could find a better way than this, or barring that, that some preservation group would pay the asking price and buy it from them.

No, not a rehash of number one on the list of gun-safety rules (”All Guns Are Always Loaded”).

“The pistol has bullets in it” refers to the firearms policemen carry, and is given as an afterthought to “Police officers lose their sense of humor when they have to wrestle with you,” which is number eleven on an outstanding list of good advice Dr. Edwin Leap culled from years of working in emergency rooms.

This is today’s life and sanity saving must-read.

I also like:

29) Every doctor believes that medicine is an art. But what they are really saying is that the art is acting. We all surround ourselves with what we think are the right props and scripts…. Medicine, dear friends, is performance art of the highest order.

31) There are stupid questions. They said in medical school that the only stupid question was the one you don’t ask. Wrong! That’s a dirty trick to make you ask stupid questions. Case in point. ‘I was in the ER on August 20 and they told me I was six weeks pregnant. How far along am I now?’ Bless her heart, that was a stupid question.

Dead on. I even seem to remember, back in the early days when high-end crypto was banned for international trade, that advocates were in fact invoking the Second Amendment in public, although I don’t recall that it was ever invoked in court. Pity, that.

The Right to Keep and Bear isn’t just about firearms. It’s about being able to resist the government with whatever tools come to hand.