Archive for the ‘Fitness’ Category

Item for Obama’s Elder Care Rationing Committee

Friday, May 14th, 2010

[Leak update below]

My in-her-eighties Mom, who doesn’t limp so much as she just takes one step at a time and gets settled in before taking the next one, painting her new garden shed:
Mom-Shed-w
Yes, of course I set the ladder and scaffold up for her. Yes, of course, I put the garden seat up there, unasked, even. Yes, of course, I stirred and poured the paint, handed her the bucket and brush, watched her climb the ladder. No, I happened not to be there when she climbed down.

Hi, Mom!
Mom-shed-smile-w
The shed will get its own post, by and by, as much for the mistakes it embodies as the successes, but note how bright it is inside. Yes, it has a roof. Palram SunTuf in Solar Gray is the hot schnitzel, although it’s a bloody finicky pain to install. Waiting for predicted weekend thunderstorms to check for leaks, and if they don’t come, I’m going to have to put a sprinkler up there.

[UPDATE]
It did rain, and the roof does leak, which caused me considerable anguish. I really like the brightness of the shed in day time, but the installation must be perfect. Fixing the leaks will be a pain, because I’ll have to fabricate a couple of platforms so I crawl across the roof to get to the leaking screws.

On the other hand: out of more than 560 screws, only half a dozen or so leak, which I guess isn’t too bad, particularly for a first time user.

But read the instructions, follow them scrupulously, take your time, and fix suspected problems right away. I recommend flooding each panel with a hose to test it before moving on to the next panel.

Celebrity Is Not Immortality

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

Heck, it’s not even good make-up.

Here’s twenty Wholly Weird Stars before and after Age.

Damn, it’s…it’s almost like they not special, or anything.

All we ever liked them for was that they were pretty, and that fades with age.

Why do we keep listening to these wealthy old parasites when they tell us how to live our own lives? They’re no better than us; all they could ever do was pretend to be somebody else. To be fake. Fake-smart, fake-nice, fake-holy, fake-inspired, fake-brave, fake-patriotic. They come up with the timely answers and quick retorts because somebody else, sitting at a keyboard, spent hours agonizing over their words.

Mind, I like them in their place. I think story telling is a crucial, primary human activity, and all these people are first and foremost story tellers. Many of them have recorded performances which will, and should, live for generations.

But off-camera worship? Trusting these people to tell us how to manage our pocketbooks, our culture, our government, our planet — come on, get real.

They’re not gods; they only play them on TV.

Quote of the Day: “Life’s tough. Wear a cup.”

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

five feet of fury rants on assholes, like Mothers Against Drunk Driving, who try to turn personal tragedy into moral crusades against the rest of us.

The sister of my best friend in high school was one of those “allergic to everything” girls. Had the blood and skin tests and non-stop specialists visits to prove it. Right up until she moved away from home to go to college and realized about a month into her new life that being the spoiled family invalid was no longer on the table, and frankly not as much fun as partying. Never got another hive. Whenever I saw her in adulthood (which was frequently) she was perfectly sound and allergy free. Wow! A miracle, huh?

Oh, yes. More like this, please.

Those of you out there who have suffered personal tragedy? Whose lives really have been ruined by some drunken idiot? Who really do have debilitating but hard to track down and treat conditions like allergies? This is not an attack on you, personally, for having suffered such a tragedy or for having said condition. This is an attack on your trying to make me run my life the way you want to run yours. Either learn to cope, or the rest of us will eventually get all Darwin on your rashy ass.

===

How do I want this to play out?

I don’t think drunk driving should be illegal, in and of itself. No check points, no stings in bar parking lots, no routine breath tests. No one, anywhere, for any reason, should find themselves under arrest for simply having a high blood alcohol.

On the other hand, if you cause an accident, even if the damage is nothing more than scratched paint, any charges are aggravated because you wouldn’t have caused the accident if you were sober. You will do jail time, you will pay fines, and you and your family will be out on the street, if necessary, while your belongings are auctioned off to make costs and restitution.

“No Smoking In This Theater”

Sunday, November 30th, 2008

John Waters, in the best, most subversive No Smoking theater trailer ever made:

Bless you, Youtube.

I love the little pop! as he finishes off his last drag.

I’ve been wanting to see this again since I first saw it in Houston’s River Oaks Theater, back when it was a repertoire house showing vintage foreign, indie, and flatly off-beat films in back to back two-day runs. They published a monthly schedule sheet which was like the syllabus for a course in Cool. Gods, I miss the old River Oaks. It’s where I first watched Seven Samurai and Casablanca and Citizen Kane, and where I last saw 2001: A Space Odyssey (I cannot tolerate 2001 on tiny TV screens). Killed, I think, by the home video market. Now its balcony has been converted to two tiny auditoriums, and it shows first run foreign and indie films, but no off-beat or vintage stuff.


Aaugh! Googling around for a photo of the River Oaks, I’m reminded that it’s slated for demolition, to be replaced by a Barnes and Noble bookstore, which will also result in the closing of the nearby Bookstop, itself a renovation/conversion of the old Alabama theater. Damn it, damn it, damn it. I absolutely support the right of the owners to do whatever they want with their property, but I wish they could find a better way than this, or barring that, that some preservation group would pay the asking price and buy it from them.

Cleanly Breaking 200

Friday, May 30th, 2008

Over the last 24 hours, I’ve met a crucial milestone:

My weight has dropped below 200 pounds. I’m at 199 +/- 1.

Best of all, I’m even on schedule.

It was my plan to photograph my scale when this happened, but unfortunately, I dropped my camera yesterday, and the shutter no longer works.

I actually saw 199.5 earlier in the week, but I got off the scale to get the camera, and when I got back on, about a minute later, I weighed 202. (My scale is a Taylor 7362. It claims to read to the nearest 1/2 lb, but in fact it, like many digital scales, is notorious for being horribly unrepeatable–in my experience, it can vary by as much as +/- 3 lbs over successive readings. Still, if I weigh myself several times during the day, I do get a reasonably consistent number.)

The 199 lb reading seems to be pretty stable, though.

I really wish I had a camera….

The other reason I wish I had a camera is that I accomplished this by pressure-washing the front of my house. The before and after shots wouldn’t be as dramatic as some I’ve seen, but noticeable nevertheless.

As far as weight loss goes, although the moment-to-moment effort involved in pressure-washing is not that large, if you do it for several hours, it adds up.

I also did some spade work. Let me explain. My front yard does not gently slope from the house to the street. Instead, it humps up in the middle, peaking about 6″ higher than the porch slab. (I plan to measure this over the weekend. ) To make it worse, the front walk is about 1.5″ lower than the porch slab. What this means is that mud washes down from the lawn and flows over the walk just where it turns to meet the porch at the front door. Once a year or so I have to get a shovel and scrape the mud off the walk, and dig out the excess from in front of the porch. That’s what I did today. I’m thinking of buying some concrete pavers to build up the walk to the level of the porch slab. There are other solutions (like, oh, say, skinning the sod off the lawn, removing about six inches of soil, grading properly, and putting the sod back, which is of course the real solution, and which will probably have to be done sooner or later), but that’s the easiest and cheapest.

I’m also probably going to dig a simple gravel-only french drain leading from the front downspout, which lets out right next to the porch, down to the sidewalk by the street,

Jailhouse Woe

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

Dammit, I’m supposed to be Learning Linux here, but I keep finding stuff I want to link to.

Like Lawdog’s tale of blatant jailhouse abuse of the helpless and undeserving:

In today’s news, we discover the poignant case of young Broderick Lloyd Laswell, currently in durance vile in the Benton County Bed and Breakfast over in Arkansas.

Young Broddy’s pitiful tale of woe and despair begins when he — allegedly — helped to beat and stab a a man to death before — again, allegedly — burning the victim’s trailer house to the ground in an effort to conceal the crime.

As the best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men are aft wont to do, things went all agley….

…But let Lawdog explain how Young Broddy is “a shining example to useless parasitic bottom-feeding scumbag critters everywhere”.

Weighing In

Friday, April 4th, 2008

At a doctor’s appointment a few months ago, I weighed in at 246 pounds (including about 6 lbs of clothes; I report nude weight for the balance of this post).

I was told I needed to lose about 100 pounds, which would bring me to 140 lbs.

Since then, I’ve cut way back on careless eating (no more Stouffer’s mac and cheese with a quarter pound of kielbasa as a midnight snack, and–the biggest sacrifice–no more fast food and sodas. I particularly miss Kentucky Fried Chicken Original Recipe. I’ve had maybe 6 Cokes since I started, and I want to report that Coca-Cola really is the Food of the Gods when you drink it infrequently enough to pay attention to it). I’ve also started vigourously exercising at least 30 minutes a day.

My experience is definitely that carbs cause more trouble than fats and proteins. I.E., the macaroni caused more weight gain than the cheese and kielbasa.

My current weight is about 214 pounds. Whine: ▼

I’m looking to break 210 in a couple of weeks; I’m hoping for 200 by the end of May.

But–losing a hundred pounds? Is that even reasonable? Healthy? Friend Pat, who’s spent far more time than I have researching fitness issues, says no–a more reasonable target for my sex (male), height (5′ 10″) is about 175 lbs.

I found this “Ideal Weight Calculator“, which actually presents several different possibilities based on different methods.

A common medical recommendation for someone of my height (5’10″), age (54), and sex(male) would be 132-174 lbs, based on a Body Mass Index of 19-25; my BMI at 240 lbs would have been about 34 kg/m**2.

The “People’s Choice” target is 200 lbs. This is “the average weight that other people of [my] Age, Height, Weight and Gender would describe as their ideal weight.: [Emphasis in original.]

So, 165-175 lbs is not at all a bad target, and losing 65-75 lbs is gonna be a lot easier than losing 100 lbs. But 140 lbs wouldn’t make me a scarecrow. I should add, I was a bean pole until my late thirties, despite a horrendous diet and almost no exercise–I’ve had to work hard to get up to 240.

In the meantime, I’ve just put half a dozen shirts back in my working wardrobe, I’m on the last notch of my belt, and my resting pulse has dropped from the mid-90s to the low 60s. Blood pressure and blood sugar have gone down as well. I can even see the beginnings of an actual waist, a distinct narrowing below my rib cage, where before I believe there was pretty much a straight line, maybe even a bulge, between my ribs and my thighs. (I don’t know for sure, because I generally didn’t look at myself in the mirror.)

I’m pretty pleased.

[Update]

Hm, the BMI is, evidently, being deprecated in favor of the waist/hip ratio. If I’ve correctly followed those instructions, my waist is 42″, and my hips are 44″, a ratio of 95%.

The target is < 90%.

While that doesn’t seem to translate directly into “How many pounds do I have to lose?”, it’s at least fairly objective.

Too bad I didn’t measure myself from the very start, so I’d know how much I’ve improved. (I didn’t even own a scale until I was about a month into this.) My guess is that my W/H ratio was greater than unity.

Better yet, I should have taken pictures. OK, everybody who does not want me to post nude pictures of an old fat guy speak up in comments!

(I’m rather annoyed at how hard it was to find a good description of taking the W/H measurements. There are contradictory answers, no good pictures taken on non-perfect body types, nothing with a skeleton shaded in for reference, gah.)

[/update]