“Did you know Obama just signed an executive order trying to get people to stop living unhealthy lifestyles?”
Mom looked at me with something like skeptical pity.
“Now, Dave, not even I believe that.”
Believe it, Mom. Please note that this is from “whitehouse.gov”; that makes it officially-for-real official, really.
d) consider and propose evidence-based models, policies, and innovative approaches for the promotion of transformative models of prevention, integrative health, and public health on individual and community levels across the United States;
and
address lifestyle behavior modification (including smoking cessation, proper nutrition, appropriate exercise, mental health, behavioral health, substance-use disorder, and domestic violence screenings) and the prevention measures for the five leading disease killers in the United States;
He is doing this to begin filling in the woefully thin regulatory skeleton strung together as the more than two thousand unread pages of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.
Dear The One: Do you have any idea how close you are to triggering a transformative behavior modification program for you and your buddies on the National Prevention, Health Promotion, and Public Health Council (NPHPPHC)? It’s item number two in an obscure little document I doubt was covered in any of your conlaw classes at Yale. Its initials are “RKBA”.
Did you know, Mr. President The One Sir, that my speel cheker doesn’t even recognize “transformative” as a word?
And seriously? The pee-pee-pee council? Seriously?
I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t tell Mom that the EPA is telling farmers they have to store milk according to the same rules as petroleum. No difference, says the recently re-empowered EPA. She’d never believe
a wild, paranoid conspiracy like that.
Having watched the oil gushing in the Gulf of Mexico, dairy farmer Frank Konkel has a hard time seeing how spilled milk can be labeled the same kind of environmental hazard.
Stupid ignorant farmer hicks. Just because one of these is a delicious, nutritious beverage produced by other mammals and is consumed daily by millions of humans, including children and even babies; and one of them a heavy, toxic mineral brew of volatile fuels, solvents, and tars that would kill you if you ate it over cereal or even drank it with pancakes — pancakes, mind! — doesn’t mean they’re not the same thing, obviously. Thank heaven we have expert government bureaucrats to remind us of these simple scientific facts.
Thank heaven they’re now going to be advising us directly on what we should eat and what kind of exercise we should. And remember, boys and girls, if you don’t take their advice, they’ll just have to make you.
And about that “recently re-empowered EPA”. When are you folks going to get around to re-empowering we the people again?