[updated] Pink Gun
Update:
- Raffle tickets are five bucks each. Call FBMG at 801-571-1160 to order.
- Paypal arrangements in the works.
- Raffle winners to be announced on 4 October.
Go here for pictures and more information as it becomes available.
Welcome, Freedom Sight Readers! I appreciate the link and the blog roll; I need to sit down and get my own in order.
My penis is not big enough or stiff enough to use in self-defense, and accordingly, I must accept my pathetic weakling status and own guns to compensate.
Preferably the biggest, longest, loudest, blackest guns I can get, right?
If someone asks whether I think they should buy a gun, I say, ‘Do you care if it’s pink?’ If you have a good and legitimate reason to own and carry a gun as a tool…then it shouldn’t matter if it’s pink.
If you’re buying it for machismo reasons, as a penis extender - which some people do - then you won’t want to own a pink gun. If it matters that it’s pink, don’t buy it.
As I responded at the time:
So long as it’s pink, it can be any gun I want, any caliber, any magazine capacity, any rate of fire? (By your analogy, the bigger the better, yes?) Carried open or concealed? (You wouldn’t want me to “open carry” my penis, would you?) No training, licensing, or registration required? (I know some folks think all males should be registered at birth as sex offenders, but you’re not that sexist, are you?)
All that in trade for some pink Duracoat?
Woo hoo! I’m ready, baby!
Well, hey boy howdy, how about a pink gun for a pink cause: Breast Cancer!
…We decided to take a Stag 15 and paint it pink, then raffle it off for Breast Cancer Research. I took the gun back to my smith (www.gundoctor.wordpress.com) and told him what we were doing. He volunteered to do the Duracoating, but said that if he was going to do it, he was going to make it nice. Turns out Joe’s family has been through this too.
Is that gun pink enough for you, you filthy little gun-fearing pants-shitting coward?
Or is that pink ribbon right there in front of the trigger still not speaking enough truth to my penis?
Tags: all men are liars, breast cancer, pink gun, Richard Ruggieri, Sam DeBrito, the pink test
August 2nd, 2008 at 10:50 am
If I WERE to have a gun that would be the LAST gun I’d ever touch. I HATE pink. Does it come in a happy shade of yellow?
Oh and the faux camo has to go too. Polka dots would be pleasant. Or smiley faces. I’d still give $ to breast cancer research though.
Can’t you just imagine the shame of blasting a hole is some (what do you call them?) goblin? and then sending him off to jail with a big splash across the front page “Goblin shot with PINK gun while breaking and entering.” Oh man, that would be punishment enough perhaps.
August 2nd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
[...] blogroll additions. Well, I just added rickityclick. As exhibit 1, I think this is one of the best responses to the pink gun controversy I’ve seen and read, and not just because it’s for a good cause, but because rickity [...]
August 2nd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Chanda, this one’s pink specifically to honor the Pink Ribbon color theme of breast cancer charities.
But Duracoat is wonderful stuff, and they make a nice, cheery Sunburst Yellow. Or how about Staten Island Orange, from the Bloomberg collection, named in honor of NYC’s gun-grabbing mayor.
If you don’t care for the camo, how about plain Barbie Pink? Or Hello Kitty? Or the My Little Carbine from Glambo? (That last is more purple than pink, though.)
One of the undercurrents here is that gun-grabbers have actually objected to pink guns exactly because girls and women might be tempted by them, and god knows, we can’t be having them all empowered and self-defending and stuff now, can we?
See how that works? Black guns are bad because men will use them as penis extenders. Pink guns are bad because women will like them. There is no winning with this crowd.
And, thanks, by the way, for showing that an aversion to pink is not purely a male tendency.
“Goblin [yes, that's we call them, thank you Kim] shot by pink gun.” Oh, that’s priceless.