“When Hollywood hates America,” writes Robert Bidinotto, “it tries to annihilate every symbol of America. The latest to face execution is G.I. Joe. “
So now, in a projected animated film for kids, G.I. Joe will no longer be a patriotic American soldier-hero. Instead, he has been replaced by a nationality-neutered creature called “Action Man.” And the name “G.I. Joe” will become a mere acronym for “Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity, an international co-ed [of course] force of operatives [a collective, not an individual, of course] who use hi-tech equipment [not guns, of course] to battle Cobra, an evil organization headed by a double-crossing Scottish arms dealer.”
He then points to Vin Suprynowicz’s article on the man who gave his face to G.I. Joe: Marine SGT Mitchel Paige, awarded the Medal of Honor for his actions on Guadalcanal, basically holding off 2,000 Japanese warriors single-handedly, after every one of his 33 men were wounded or killed, by moving from one machinegun to another to give the impression that the position was fully manned. (Read the whole thing. My summary does not nearly do SGT Paige, or Suprynowicz, anything like justice.)
SGT Paige did not ask for royalties on G.I. Joe’s face. All he asked was that G.I. Joe always be an United States Marine.
Not a Brussels Sprout.