ricketyclick

Via Say Uncle, this:

So, watch out if you’re out shopping tomorrow, they may be lots of men out compensating for their own inadequacies at the local gun shop. No doubt they will have travelled there in their big V8.

My reply:

Please allow me, sir, to express my deep admiration of the appendage you are evidently able to deploy for self-defense. You must be very proud. I am certain every lady you know feels safer in your presence than with nearly any other man.

My father owns a walking-stick made out of a bull’s penis stretched over an iron rod. Up till now, he has been the only person I know who could, literally, beat off an attacker with his penis.

I admit that my own, personal penis is pitifully inadequate for self-defense purposes.

I agree with you that that women should be left defenseless, since they are anatomically unsuited for it. Plus, it makes them so much easier to subdue.

It’s also true that the elderly and handicapped, regardless of size, do not deserve the right to self-defense, since their wang-fu will likely be inadequate for a variety of reasons. We don’t need such human rubbish, anyway.

I admit, I’ve always found it disturbing that the police and military, being unable to find recruits of your mighty dimensions, instead must brand them as the puny weaklings they are by issuing handguns and rifles.

Congratulations to you again, and I am sure we will hear more of your exploits as you defend your self, your family, your neighbors, and your nation.

I implore you to post the resulting news pictures.

[Slight editing to correct grammar and style errors.]

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 19th, 2006 at 6:44 pm and is filed under Guns and Ammo. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.